New college grads having a tough time finding jobs
With unemployment rising sharply just as this year’s class of graduates is coming to the end of their education, people are starting to wonder just what will happen to the class of 2009.
The young graduates themselves seem terrified, with a huge portion of them planning to move home because there’s no other way they can see themselves making rent.
Here are some thoughts from college seniors from a recent article at NewsDaily.com:
“You’re graduating into this world and being thrown out of the college bubble and you’re supposed to be able to get a job, which just doesn’t exist.
“Most people I know my age still live at home because they can’t even get it together to make enough money to pay rent. Each class piles up against the ones before it. I know so many people who are looking for jobs, and have been since they graduated. There’s this sense of ‘No hope.’”
– Andrew Heber, 24, class of 2007“People are saying this is the worst year to graduate, ever.”
– Amanda Haimes, 22, class of 2009
If you have an adult child who is set to graduate this Spring, now’s the time to start the conversation about future living arrangements. Some new graduates may assume they’re moving home to live with Mom and Dad, even if they haven’t let you in on the plan. Talk to them now about what their plans are, and what your expectations are if they do return to the nest.
Adult children’s stuff stays at home — even when the adult children move out
For families with adult children living at home, space can often be a concern. Adults simply need more personal space than children do, and the needs of several adults living in one home can clash.
For some families, space is an issue long after the adult children finally move out — because they leave so much of their stuff behind at Mom and Dad’s.
There’s Louise Hill, for example, who at 91 is still storing a garage full of stuff belonging to her 65-year-old son.
You can read more about Louise, and other families squeezed out by their adult kids’ stuff, in this article from The Floria Times-Union.
When establishing a timeline for your adult children to leave home, don’t leave yourself responsible for taking care of their stuff for the rest of your life. For your adult child to reach true independence, they must not only move out of your house themselves, they must take their belongings with them.
It may not be possible for adult kids to take all of their cherished possessions with them when they first manage to find an apartment or have roommates, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping their stuff around if it helps them out and you have the space. But if you want to downsize, or turn your child’s old bedroom into a den, it’s time to get firm on a “stuff-removal” timeline. You may want to put this step into the timeline you create that establishes milestones for your adult child’s stay at home and their transition to a place of their own.
You can learn how to create a timeline for helping adult children establish independence at www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com
Expert says establishing boundaries is #1 step
In a recent article from EnterpriseNews.com, Helen DeVries, director of the doctorate psychology program at Wheaton College offered the following advice for families with adult children moving home:
To make it work and ensure things stay amicable rather than resentful, you have to frame it more like you’re cohabiting with roommates. In that scenario, there’s a splitting of chores and errands. It’s easy to slip back into the routine you had pre-college, but you have to try to make it more collegial than hierarchical. Parents need to say ‘We’re delighted we’re able to help you, but you’ll be expected to cook one night a week or do all of the ironing or give us X amount of dollars for the cable bill.
One of the families profiled in the article used a contract to set the terms with their adult child — and everyone seems pleased with the results. You can learn more about how to create a contract for adult children living at home here.